I was having a conversation with a client the other day about her internal pressure to "lose weight and get in shape".  This is a common concern that clients (especially women) frequently bring up in therapy. I tend to use this as an opportunity to normalize the push that people feel to be a certain weight or size, then gently present the possibility of looking at health from a more size/weight-neutral perspective.  "What would you like to be doing differently than you are doing today?", I might ask.  This then opens up a discussion about embarking upon some pleasurable activities that contribute to improvements in flexibility, for example, or strength.

Another important piece in this is, of course, diet. We are so conditioned by the incessant barrage of messages about food and weight that any focus on size or weight sets us up for the psychic leap to Diet Mentality. Diet Mentality is the all-or-nothing, good-food/bad-food way of thinking about how we nourish ourselves. It inherently sets people up for a cycle of restriction and overindulgence.  Just think about how this might apply to you, or people you know.  How often have you said "well, I had an extra slice of pizza, so tomorrow I better do an extra 15 minutes on the treadmill"?  Or how about "I think I'm going to be bad and order dessert."?  Or "I was so good all week that I deserve to cheat on the weekend."?  Sound familiar? I am willing to bet that if you eavesdropped on almost any dinner conversation among a group of women in a restaurant you would hear any number of statements to this effect.

So let me pose this radical idea.  What if we stopped labeling foods "good" or "bad"?  What if, instead, we think about what our bodies really want and how the food makes us feel?  What if, instead of eating an entire pint of ice cream (because, after all, you've already blown it so you might as well eat the whole darn thing!), you portion out a serving and pay attention to how it smells, how it tastes, how your body feels afterwards?  This is, in essence, intuitive eating.  It involves an inherent trust in ones body to make choices about food and nourishment without imposing all kinds of rules or judgments.  Intuitive eating doesn't restrict, it guides. Are you craving a cupcake?  Have the cupcake.  Choose a really nice one.  Be present in the moments as you thoroughly enjoy it.  Savor it.  Pay attention.  How do you feel?  Do you feel satisfied, guilty, full?  Again...don't judge.  Just notice. Observe.

Intuitive eating takes practice and patience.  So many of us have overridden our natural ability to do this by years of Diet Mentality and weight cycling. It can feel really scary to let go and trust our bodies to make the right choices. It also requires that you be honest with yourself.  Maybe cupcakes give you heartburn. Maybe pizza makes you lethargic. Maybe oatmeal causes bloat.  Pay attention and tune in to your body and your feelings. Over time you will naturally sense what, when, and how much you need to eat to be comfortably satisfied and properly nourished.  Your decisions around food will happen in a more organic, comfortable way, and you can stop beating yourself up for making "bad" choices.  You will be able to stop "dieting" and start eating in a way that will promote a sense of well-being and fulfillment.

Some resources if you're interested in reading further:

Excellent primer on Intuitive Eating,                  Author Geneen Roth,
          now in its third edition                       known for her work in this area

Yes, it's that time of year again.  "The most wonderful time of the year", right?  The stores are already glistening in their holiday finery, and Halloween was only yesterday! While some people look upon this season with delight (probably mostly those under the age of 25 or so), the holidays can be fraught with stressors. It's prime time for worries about money, being pressed for time, overindulging in alcohol or food, and struggling with family members about plans.  We're also rapidly approaching the new year, and the ensuing New Year's Resolutions.

The hectic beginning of the school year is behind us, and we're in a bit of the lull before the full swing of the winter holidays.  Now might be a good opportunity to take stock. Are you happy with where you are in your life?  Do you believe that you are on the right path?  Would you like some support as you manage the holiday stress and start off on the right foot for 2014?

This is fine time to consider having some counseling sessions. Use that mental health benefit or health savings plan before it runs out! Your mental and emotional health are just as critical as your physical health, yet tend to be pushed aside.  Focus on creating a new you from the inside out this year!